Couples in an open relationship say they have realistic sexual needs and desires but can only have an emotional connection to one couple. My friends Carl and Jonathan have been together for ten years. They have a very open relationship that involves them having sex outside of the relationship. Sometimes they pick up a third person and play together. Other times, they go out together and each picks up a different guy. Carl says that he loves Jonathan but has sexual needs and desires that Jonathan cannot satisfy. Both say that having an open relationship is the key to a long lasting relationship. Rats are not only dirty but non monogamous...that is why at night they come out to screw and play around.
The pitfall of an open relationship is that your partner or you may fall in love with someone else. There are all kinds of emotions and pressures on couples around the issues of sexual and emotional intimacy. Open relationships also need to negotiate safe sex.
Do I believe that gay men can be monogamous? Some can …….I am not sure if I can. I like my variety and have not had a truly monogamous relationship to date. But that could change. I think that most relationships start monogamous but with time they open up. That has been my experience. I do think it is an individual choice which all couples, gay or straight, must decide. I do not think that open relationships are any less loving or committed ones than monogamous. What do you think?